Hey beardy Boden man, where’s your six-pack and board shorts?!

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had about enough of this retro Joy-of-Sex ish beardy thing that’s going on with men at the mo.

Brad Pitt, never adverse to facial hair, has finally allowed his beard to swallow his face. Hairy Russell Brand always looks like he needs a good clean in bleach. And now, on a relaxed Saturday morning, just after I’ve enjoyed my pancakes, a Boden menswear catalogue flies onto my doormat, and on the cover? A gangly man with a whopper weirdy beardy!

The problem is that men are trying to be pheramoney at the mo - getting all Neaderthal in the hope that we may drop the ugga bugga cooking bowl in desire and head into the cave for some action.  Gentlemen you are deluded. And womenfolk, please do your bit. Show your men the photos underneath and underline to them which version is SEXIER!

This…

Or this?

Tom Hardy like this…?

… or this?

You want some more? OK then!

Hairy man John Hamm…

… to hottie John ‘Don Draper’ Hamm

Ladies and gentleman, the prosecution rests its case.